war of the minds

7 am
the garbage truck beaps as it backs up
and i start my day thinking about what i've thrown away;

could i push rewind?
the credits traverse, signifying the end
but i missed the best part;

could we please go back to start?
[forgive my indecision]

11 am
by now you would think that i would be up
but my bedsheets shade the heat of choices i've made;

and what did i find?
i never thought i could want someone so much
'cause now you're not here and i'm knee deep in that old fear
[forgive my indecision-----i'm only human]

12 pm
and my dusty telephone rings
heavy head up from my pillow, who could it be?

[i hope it's you]

wondering what's real

...what is frustration? or what is anger? or love? when i say "love," the sound comes out of my mouth and hits the other person's ear, travels through this byzantine conduit in their brain, through their memories of love, or lack of love, and they register what i'm saying, and they say "yes, i understand," but how do i know they understand? words are inert; they're just symbols; they're dead, you know? and, so much of our experience is intangible... so much of what we perceive cannot be expressed; it's unspeakable. yet, when we communicate with one another, and we feel that we have connected, and we think that we are understood, i think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion, and that feeling might be transient, but i think it's what we live for.

-waking life-

pushmeaway

monday 200605 05a-07a

in bedroom : males bangun, masih ngantuk... DAN ada yang bilang bahwa gue jadi sangat pemarah kalo kurang tidur :(
driving : asal-asalan, hampir nabrak motor
at the office : jalan dari basement ke lantai dua dengan langkah gontai
playlist : DT-overture 1928, strange deja vu; LP-pushing me away, in the end, faint => list di kala bete berat
volume : 100%, sampe kudu pake headphone, biar orang-orang di ruangan ga ngehajar gue :p
job : ha? lagi ga mood gini masih harus kerja? goodness...
say hi : ga negor seorang manusia pun sejak nyampe tadi :(
conclusion : it's still 7 in the morning and i hate my life. this is not good. this is waaay not good... *sigh*

it's getting strange

dear all human race,
kalian harus nonton 'Mr & Mrs Smith'. ada satu adegan yang menyentuh, yaitu ketika Brad Pitt menyenandungkan sebait lagu Air Supply:

...and i don't know how you do it,
making love out of nothing at all...

ditto, Mr Pitt. saya juga tidak habis mengerti bagaimana manusia sanggup bercinta tanpa didasari perasaan apapun. apakah ini suatu konspirasi manusia atas nama nafsu & kebutuhan, melawan cinta--yang notabene adalah perasaan tersuci anugrah Tuhan kepada manusia itu sendiri?

untuk konspirasi jenis ini, entah sampai kapan saya baru dapat jawabnya =(


...and i'm never gonna make it like you do,
making love out of nothing at all...

senandung konspirasi pagi

pagi ini saya ceria sekali, karena para konspirator di lantai 7 itu telah berbaik hati menandatangani surat keputusan pengangkatan jabatan saya.. hahaha.. ditambah lagi, saya punya 10 DVD yang harus sesegera mungkin ditonton. entah apa yang ada di benak konspirator itu: mereka bersedia menaikkan gaji saya sementara setiap hari saya hanya nonton, browsing dan ngemil--bahkan tidak jarang meninggalkan kantor seharian. sungguh suatu bentuk konspirasi 'top-level' terhadap 'lower-level' yang patut ditiru di segenap institusi di dunia ini!

hoi penghuni lantai 7, maen lagi yok! :D

the top se7en

some very good secret societies :

1- freemasonry
2- knights templar
3- rosicrucians
4- illuminati
5- priory of sion
6- hashishans
7- and ... konspirasi lantai tujuh!

pfiuh, akhirnya kantor ini punya secret society juga :p

p.s. dear Mr Dan Brown, untuk petualangan Robert Langdon selanjutnya, mohon libatkan konspirasi lantai tujuh ini yaa.. you won't be sorry deh, sir!

reminder to all mankind

ke manapun anda pergi, di manapun anda berada.. ingat! konspirasi selalu ada di dekat anda!